And You Ask Me Why I Love Her Through Wars, Death, and Despair

Bosnia and  Herzegovina

Annnnnnd installment two in “Anna decided to backpack through the Balkan’s alone!”

Try anything once...unless it's drugs ;)

Leaving Croatia I boarded a bus to Sarajevo the capital of Bosnia and Herzegovina and where the 1984 Olympics were held! When we reached the border we had to get off the bus to hand our passports over for inspection and I saw a blue passport in front of me and realized there were other American’s on the bus! Their names were Kolby and Alyssa. He just graduated university, she just finished a year of teaching English in Korea. It was a delight travelling with them, we were separated on the bus but at stop we talked and just thinking I could host them if they needed a place in Bulgaria I gave them my email. BEST DECISION EVER readers. Sometimes in your life you just have to take a leap of faith and trust your gut because my gut was telling me that these were like minded, really amazing and safe people I wanted to get to know and it worked out beautifully. The next night we ended up meeting for dinner, but more on that later.

SERIOUSLY! Peter Jackson why did you
script my trip???

When we got to Sarajevo we were dropped at this creepy bus station with no map and no clue where to go, we stuck together and got on a tram where the tram driver told me which tram to change to and what direction to head in. When I finally made it to the outskirts of Sarajevo where my hotel was I was very lost. The address I had for my hotel said I was close but I couldn’t find it anywhere and no one around me spoke English. I finally found a taxi and was willing to be ripped off just to get there but NO. No readers I found the one honest taxi driver in all of Sarajevo who refused to drive me because he would have to charge me a huge premium for a ride that I could walk in 2 minutes. I tried to explain I was exhausted, and lost, it was dark and I just wanted to get there. Nope, didn’t make a difference. Finally I found a waitress who knew where I needed to go and gave me directions.  

"I miss the mountains"

Things that my booking.com profile didn’t tell me about my hotel is that it was over a restaurant, incredibly loud, played club music till very late and was in the area that was pro the war. Sufficed to say I got out very early in the morning after trying to sleep on my nightmare of a mattress and figured out how to get to the old town. I found the tram and knew I had to get off at the last stop to be in the Old Town. What the tram drivers didn’t tell me was that this tram didn’t actually have a “last stop” it had a loop. So I ended up missing my stop and arriving back where I started. But, ever the optimist instead of being frustrated by the “waste of time” I instead decided to view it as a blessing since I had used the ride to take pictures of all the scenery and building so it was like a cheap tour in my mind. I re-boarded and got off at the right stop this time. Map in hand I found the tourist center and got directions to where I could get a tour in Sarajevo. I signed up for the Tunnel Tour at the local station for 2 p.m. which gave me a lot of time to go through the market in the Old Town and really get a feel for the spirit and history of Sarajevo. I found this adorable pink traditional outfit for a little girl to bring home for the “KFC.” Something I do in every country I visit is get a gift for a child ages 0-14ish. My sister and her fiancé have said they want children and so when they do have a kid that child will have gifts from every country I visited so they know they were wanted by everyone. This was the gift from Sarajevo!

It's the same sky wherever
I go. A lesson in tolerance.

Bosnians are strong

An interesting fact about Sarajevo: they have tons of Justin Beiber face pillows, but even more Batman merchandise. They don’t care which actor plays Batman whether its Christian Bale, Ben Affleck, or a puppet! They just want to believe that something could come to save them. Something, someone, anything.

Back to the bazaar: It was a good time just wandering around the market, overhearing dozens of languages and staring through the gates at the mosque, listening to the prayers and watching the Muslims joining their community. Since I am not Muslim I am not allowed in the gates, but standing outside still gave me a good view! I felt like Maria in the Sound of Music, climbing up the mountain to peer down on the nuns.

Gazing into someone else's world

I went back to wait for my tour and was not disappointed. There was a group of Australians waiting as well and they talked to me about working in London for the past two years and what the contrast is. When they asked why I was there I told them I was backpacking on a holiday before starting work in Bulgaria, they were of course curious “why Bulgaria?” When I explained I was this Fulbright grant recipient so that’s how it works I never expected them to know what Fulbright was. I did however enjoy the looks they gave me. Almost every person on my trip would do the same thing when they found out I was a Fulbrighter. They would look me up and down in shock and say “Fulbright?” I guess the stereotype is a man in a suit, pipe in his mouth, debating Shakespeare or something…I am a small female who wears: jeans, an olive green jacket, worn converse, and a Luna Lovegood t-shirt. Not the Fulbrighter they imagined ;) But after the first dozen times of getting that response I learned to embrace how different I am and how that it was made me perfect to be a Fulbrighter. I am me, and I won’t be changing anytime soon to fit a stereotype!

Starting the tour our guide called us all by our country to make it easier. We went by bus to the tunnel and got the entire history of it’s origin. The struggle of the Bosnians during the attack that occurred o the anniversary of the founding of Sarajevo, how difficult is was to even get water and walk down “Snipers alley.”

Filled in graves in the front, an empty row in the back. Waiting. 

She was my sisters age and yet she grew up barely having food to eat, having a teacher come to the basement of her building and knowing her parents had to risk being shot just to get food. The tunnel was 800 km under the airport to aid the Bosnians into getting to the neutral zone and able to bring food back no thanks to the UN. Now that the airport is open again the tunnel is not allowed to be open for security reasons but 25 km remain free to travel and I walked them with the tour!

I figured my Uncle Greg would be proud.
This is something he would do!

Before the tour we watched a film showing the clips of the war and what buildings looked like before and after all of the bombings. Then my guide showed us pictures of graves, people hiding, the true food packages that were publicly displayed as helping the Bosnians when really they had long rotten food inside that was inedible. My guide asked for a volunteer and while I was at the back and figured everyone would clamber to assist no one moved. I was with a group of 15 other adults and they were all too worried to volunteer, probably thinking they’d be shot. So channeling my Zach Efron from High School Musical, I emerged with my arm in the air. The response? “Yay States! Bery Bosnian, the smallest female is the bravest.” I was then told I had to lift this backpack that was in a holder on the floor but not to do it too quickly. I figured this was a demonstrations so I proceeded carefully, but while I could lift it without problem (thanks to my constant gym workouts I guess) my guide said not to life it too high. It turned out to hold 100 lbs which was the average weight that a female would bring back through the tunnel to support her family. A man would have double and yet ironically no man came forwards to try until after they had seen the “small female” do it!

100 lb backpack

Starting the tunnel

We then walked through the museum seeing the ammunition, signing the book of visitors, and seeing the pictures from the Sarajevo film festival of movie stars who back the Bosnian rebuilding. Then it was time to go down the tunnel. The woman in front of me stepped on the already exploded bomb that was stuck in the concrete and panicked. To say I felt like I wasn’t in Kansas anymore is an understatement.

Going through the tunnel you felt like you were walking into a different time, suddenly flashbacks of watching “The Great Escape” with my mother one summer made me truly appreciate where I was and what I was able to do. I, a tiny American, who just months ago was living in Danvers, MA. I was trudging through the tunnel of hope in Sarajevo!

You had to shrink down

During the tour we were informed that the night I arrived a war criminal who had plotted over a 1000 deaths had been released from prison 20 years later. He was given a party by one group in Bosnia while another group (the Bosniacs) grieved this release. The guide told me that you could end up working with the person who killed your family these days but you never want to know. When asked why she said “what good would it do to know? You’d be in agony every day with no way to quell it.”

We learned a lot about the presidencies, the governments, and the crazy structure of Bosnia these days. We asked her what the government was like and she said, “That is a normal question for a normal country and so- I have no answer. “I left Sarajevo early after an incident I had on that tour, but before I did I met with my new friends from Louisiana for dinner!

I got to the meeting place early because the trams were so unpredictable and walked around taking pictures. But the dinner was delightful, I had almost forgotten what it was like to speak only in English and discuss home instead of moving to Bulgaria or what I would need to do in Eastern Europe all year. We discussed politics, and college, majors and dreams. Those two are just wonderful people who are full of questions about the world, a vivacious spirit for travel, and two great heads on their shoulders. If I am grateful I met anyone on my journey, I am grateful I met them and hope I will be able to see them again someday. I know they will both succeed in whatever they do, as well as travel the world with passion and open mindedness. We found the Bosnian ‘Cheers’ which was built in a double decker bus, got gelato, and all too soon it was time for bed as I was leaving in the morning.

This bridge lit up and changed colors!

While Bosnia was my shortest stop of my trip I think it impacted me the most of all and it is a trip I will hold in my heart forever. I have always been a Holocaust historian since I saw “Schindler’s List” at age 5, but Bosnia helped me to truly dig deeper into my personhood and how I deal with tragedy as well as study it with humanity.

How could I leave her? Where would I go?

 Tonights song is "Anthem" which discusses a man who is defecting from the USSR, but to him he isn't defecting he is having to leave his home, and home isn't the USSR. He makes the point that "Long before nations lines were drawn. When no flags flew, when no armies stood- my land was born." When you ask a Bosnian why they didn't all leave they would tell you it was there home, not just a name. That they didn't want to have to watch TV to see their family die, and they were true to their land. (Shout out to Blaine Carper who loves this song as much as I do, and recognized it's mention in my last blog post!)

Anna