Change Every Word Of Every Line-Write Any Story But Mine (Who Hasn't Felt This Way?)

Hello Readers!!

And there are quite a few of you out there. Little tip from a woman abroad: there will be good day, there will be bad days, and there will be days that are a mix and thus very confusing.

Today I met with my mentor teacher which was amazing. She is this fantastic woman who is very warm and affectionate. She has a son my age and told me I could be her daughter. She also told me to be really strict my first day teaching because I look like a teenager! But she was great about answering all of my questions, offering advice, and really focusing on what I needed to know to ensure I had a rewarding experience in Burgas.

I was informed I will be teaching 9^th grade English, 10^th grade English and as an added plus 11^th grade literature!!! I am very excited about that because I get to teach a lot of culture, discussion, and even act out plays. It will give me a chance to teach different subjects (because trust me they are different here!) and interact with more students. I want to also get involved with the BFL, the Bulgarian Forensic League which means I would run a debate team at my school, participate in the Corplus spelling bee camp, and help out with the drama program.

This is of course, all along with my research project and personal project to set up feminism and empowerment groups. The support has been amazing here and I feel like I will be ready to enter that classroom energized and ready to impact lives.

Which brings up a huge point- you can’t impact someone else’s life in a positive way if you are not comfy with who you are and set with who you are. I want to warn all potential Fulbrighters out there of that because it is essential. I spent a few years in college really figuring out who I was, what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be each day and how important it was to constantly re-evaluate and not stay “stuck.” I highly recommend trying this, explore yourself to the fullest so you know your strengths and weaknesses. So you know where you can help and when you need to ask for help. Remember asking for help will get you through the rough patches.

Which leads to the bad part of today- homesick. I miss my mom so much. Like I said this summer was really horrible before I left. I spent most of it in court, or packing up my house quickly to move. I lost family, I had to face the fact that it is ok to not be ok, and worse that I am like Doctor Who: “Of course I’m ok, I’m always ok, I am the king of ok.”

So today I am very homesick, I want to curl into a ball and cry, I want to contact all of my friends just to hear their voices, and I want them to tell me it is ok, that I am still there with them as they are here in my heart. But instead it is 10 pm here, I have Bulgarian language homework, and as usual I will be the perfect adult and do my homework, prepare my lesson plans, and focus on impacting someone else’s life before focusing on making myself feel better. Because through all of that I will garner hope and inspiration and in the end I need to depend on that over people.

I don’t think I know just yet when I became an activist. When I overcame being the second child who didn’t sit at home but instead looked up everywhere I could be of us. But it isn’t easy. I will leave you with a hopeful thought (besides that my teaching schedule is amazing, and my mentor teacher is lovely) when I was down the other Fulbrighter’s here, they all reached out. They saw me falling and they caught me. I couldn’t ask for a better group over here. We look out for each other, joke with each other, form “Southern Region Rangers,” and joke about stupid ways to die and how to eat out of an egg bowl. 

It makes me think of “A Series of Unfortunate Events” the film when Violet reads the letter at the end:

It's the letter, the letter that never came. [reading aloud] "Dearest Children, Since we have been abroad we have missed you all so much. Certain events have compelled us to extend our travels. One day, where you're older, you will learn all about the people we've befriended and the dangers we have faced. At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may, in fact, be the first steps of a journey. We hope to have you back in our arms soon, darlings; but in case this letter arrives before our return, know that we love you. It fills us with pride to know that, no matter what happens in this life, you three will take care of each other with kindness, and bravery and selflessness as you always have. And remember one thing my darlings and never forget it: that no matter where we are, know that as long as you have each other, you have your family and you are home. Your loving parents."

I cant tell you truly readers that people are still out there that will help you with kindness and give you bravery when yours is faltering. 

Anna

Today's song is "Rewrite this Story" I can tell you that getting to Bulgaria is definitely helping me tweak mine!