So If You Have Something To Say--You Better Say It Now

The final count down has begun! I leave this weekend! I finished my Dr. Who inspired farewell tour seeing all my friends and inspirations. Saw “Percy Jackson and The Sea Of Monsters” (great Firefly reference in there btw for all your brown coats out there,) went to Bonkers, this arcade place I grew up going to, had lunch with all the professors I possibly could, and packed…the re-packed! This will be my last post pre-departure so I thought I would treat this like the program it is to the main event. (Yes, theatre people I am comparing Fulbright and my goals to a play, my great friend Kinney will enjoy this reference!)

THE PLAYERS: A.K.A. all the people who helped me, encouraged me, or just let me do what I needed to do to be who I am today.

If there is one thing about my life that truly makes it worth living to the fullest it is that all of my family and friends are very different, we come from and pursue all walks of life, and we support each other in our differences.

The Cat:

Princess is the love of my life, she makes me joyously happy and yells at me whenever she is upset. You have no idea how much I love this cat. Just. NO. IDEA! I will miss her so much while away and she goes on hunger strikes when I live abroad so I will literally have to skype her every week to make sure she is eating. My kitty and I are connected after 14 years together, inseparable!

 

Family:

My mom: My mother likes to say that she checked me out of the restricted section of the library.  I am tall unlike my family, I don’t have the same physical make up that my family does, and I’m rather odd. She also thinks she failed because I am a trekkie! Yet recently my mother saw me pack and brought me in a shirt I needed for my trip, I told her she could place it near the bowtie on the floor. Her response? “Because obviously that is going.” To which I responded: “Do I detect sarcasm?”…her response? “No…resignation.”

My mom has resigned herself to the fact that I am odd, and she loves me anyways. Even when she did not like my choice of colleges she came around and now advocates for my school non-stop to people who put it down. She really embraces who I am and what I want to do in life including moving to Rwanda to work with genocide victims there. She represents the essence of mom- she watches movies she hates with me because I love them, she backs my wanting to travel and be abroad, she encourages me to do so and when I told her I was going she said it was the best birthday present she could have. My mom stood by me through being terminally ill, through not being allowed an education, through my choosing 3 majors and 4 minors, flying to Cuba, moving to Prague, getting tattoos, piercing my nose, and choosing to pursue an unusual concentration in Sociology. She works to set a great example for the woman I should be, and even when life hit her with a brick wall, she went all “Harry Potter night bus” on it and plowed through. She’s my mom, and I’m glad to be her daughter.

Kate: I have this midget sister, usually it is the younger sibling that is always “about” the older one but my sister is definitely my biggest fan. To me, we are polar opposites. She is a journalist and I hate journalists, I have a degree in ethics so it is a long standing rivalry ;) She liked Nsync, I’m all about Jackson Brown. She’s 4’11, I’m 5’6. I’m a crazy academic who protests makeup companies and ads targeting women; she’s a fashionista. Sufficed to say we are an interesting pair. But the key word there is: pair. Without the other we don’t complete the ying-yang. She will be visiting me in London for Doctor Who’s 50^th celebration and will help me “kidnap” Matt Smith!

My sister doesn’t get jealous that I have a Fulbright and get to have this journey. I ended up saying goodbye to some friends this year because they couldn’t find it in them to be happy for me instead of jealous. But my sister instead is encouraging my going even though she’s going to miss me. That’s a pretty great sister. And yes we may be polar opposites, but I did beat kids up for her in pre-school, and she’d follow me anywhere. Beat. That.  

Nunny: omg omg omg I have this adorable Nunny. Seriously, a world without Nunny is no world worth living in. Nunny loves me regardless of how sick I am, what I look like, what I study, where I go, who I love, how I dress etc. She is always there to great me with a hug, a smile, and a cookie to try and get me to gain weight. I can tell you honestly I wouldn’t be the caring person I am without her. She remembers everyone birthdays, their cats names, what your favorite flower is. She just is the epitome of humanity and comes in an adorable package. I will miss her like crazy this year.

The Aunts and Uncles: I am blessed to have a variety of family members who range from being nurses to musicians. They’ve watched me grow up and worried about my health, my happiness, and where I am going in life. But seeing them recently they all cheer me on with the phrase “Anna for president!” They will support me from afar, but I will miss seeing them for holidays this year. 

Family That Are Disguised As Friends:

The Salem State Philosophy Department: Beautiful people, overwhelmingly caring and kind. They took a History major who was broken after a tragic event in, and turned me into a critical thinking, passionate, open, driven, intelligent warrior. An activist without reserve. And even after graduating they still support me, check in on me, see me for lunches, care about my life, and share theirs with me. They are the reason I made it through college so successfully, and any student who learns from them at the University is better for having known them.

Michael: I had to make up an Italian exam one day and happened upon this professors office who was discussing bee’s purpose in life. Overhearing the conversation I felt…happy. I had to find out what this man taught so I could feel that again. I looked up his spring schedule, joined the honors program to take his course on “Phenomenology.” One day in class he was explaining the perception of “desk” and was running back and forth demonstrating and ran INTO the desk. Laughing it off he continued to keep teaching and in that moment I knew this man would help change my life.

We celebrated our friendaversary in January and started our 5^th year of supporting each other, inspiring each other, and always being there to cheer each other on. When I went back to Michael and said I wanted to take a year off of my graduate program to do a Fulbright, he never doubted I would succeed. He said pick the country, let me know when my letter of recommendation is due and how can I help?

It never mattered to him when I thought I wasn’t good enough, or when life got so rough for me that I worried I wouldn’t make it through everything I planned-he just told me I would make it, that he’d never met someone like me, who thought like me, or worked like me. To just be me. It takes a good friend to support you, it takes a great friend to tell you to be who you are without any addendums or modifications. Michael, I am proud to know you, I am proud you are my best friend, and I am proud of who you are. Thank you for always being proud of me.

It's not "goodbye" it's "hello"

“M”: Until I get permission from M to use their name, we will just use the initial. M is my mentor, she is amazing and down to earth. She can look at me and put everything into perspective while still making me feel better about the situation. M believed in me, encouraged me, and never told me that learning the basics was a waste of time. She went above and beyond to help me feel like I could do anything, to tell me that I am better than I believe and to be proud of me. 

Kaylee: One of my most unique friends is Kaylee. People of the blogosphere I can tell you that life without Kaylee, to me would cause a hole. Kaylee is a go getter, she never gives up, and is one of the hardest workers I know. When I recently had to move she showed up without me needing to ask, started taping boxes together and just took charge. But besides being strong, a light in the darkness and kind-Kaylee is fantastic with animals.

I remember the first time she was really introduced to me she was making Star Wars jokes with Michael at the MFA in the elevator. LOVE AT FIRST WORD! Years later we still get to see each other often, go to Josh Whedon movies, make Nathan Fillion and Gile’s jokes, share in the joy of loving animals more than humans, and just celebrate each others life choices!

Cayla: I was in Michaels office one day and this woman walks in: red hair braided in an effortless way, green pants with paint covering them, blue shirt, and runs in saying she is running late for her studio time and forgot her art box on his shelf. I soon learned that was the “Cay shelf” in Michaels office which was my excuse to get my own shelf later! She turns around and sees me there on a chair, head in a book, not speaking and asks, “Who’s the new recruit?”  Little did I know she would end up the Philosophy Club President and would choose me as her successor, setting my path without ever knowing it.

Cayla reached out before any other member of the philosophy club, she loved me harder, she kept me closer, and she protected me. She’s this fantastic artist who is a free spirit if there ever was one. She cares about people, and above all else she just loves. Cayla, if you read this, I will never be able to tell you how grateful I am to have your love and to be able to love you and share in your life.

Vicky: If you met her you would understand how amazing she is. God this girl just can do anything and is so humble about it! She is an empath if there ever was one, cares, reaches out, excels at school while living a down to earth life. She’s a fantastic aunt who cares about her niece more than anyone and she would lay down her life for her worst enemy in a second. Vicky is my Mina, I met her at Music Man auditions when she nicknamed me “college pipes” because of how I sing. We bonded, and had sleepovers, and a beautiful friendship emerged. One day I fully expect to be co-raising her kids with her and taking them to little league, cheering them on like she cheers me on every day.

There isn’t a way to describe Vicky to show how extreme, outgoing, passionate, and beautiful she is. I’ve got her back, and can’t wait to send her pictures of her homeland-Romania and Greece!

Senor Fitzgibbons: My high school teacher, who never quit on me. I was horrible with language and he never told me that. He told me keep trying, never quit, take it a word at a time and don’t be afraid to admit I can’t do something at that moment, because I could learn to do it with help. I only got to take his course for a few months, but I carried his lessons with me into college and beyond. He has this strength of faith, paired with a determination to impact his students lives and without that example I wouldn’t have been so prepared for this trip.

Kalin, Julie, Ashley, Martin, Courtney, Britta, Peter, Aimee, Kacey, Kinney, Melissa: All of you made me a better person. You brought light into my life, you included me in your joys and you inspired me in different ways. I am truly thrilled to know all of you! 

I am excited to go, but sad to leave. As they say in Doctor Who:

Idris: I've been looking for a word. A big, complicated word but so sad. I've found it now.
The Doctor: What word?
Idris: "Alive." I'm alive.
The Doctor: Alive isn't sad.
Idris: It's sad when it's over. I'll always be here. But this is when we talked. And now, even that has come to an end. There's something I didn't get to say to you.
The Doctor: Goodbye.
Idris: No. I just wanted to say... hello. Hello, Doctor. It's so very, very nice to meet you. 


I leave soon...so "If you have something to say, say it to me now."  
Anna