Today was my break through day! I was listening to my
Bulgarian language teacher and when she said a word I wrote it in Bulgarian
without thinking about it or needing her to spell it, even with the new letters
that make different sounds! Woohoo!! This is great because the 8 year old boy
that is here with his parents is coming to class tomorrow and asked to sit with
me, so I want to be able to really help him out and help him enjoy the class!
Yet again Rebecca sang to my soul today when our teacher was
talking about how women don’t get extra endings when they are wives because
then it changes. When asked why Rebecca said “blatant sexism.” If she had
decided to change to advanced language I would follow her just for amazing
remarks like this!
We love out teacher because today she told us: “You are like
my children, I will support you, you can call me anytime.” Which lead to Jake
asking if that meant they could now get vodka together. But it lead me to think
just how different it is here. She generally wants to stay in touch with us and
aid us. She wants to make this language easy for us and get to know us. Then
she mentioned her daughter and it hit me we never asked about her family. We as
Americans are generally not curious. I have decided to create the term
“un-curious” to describe this idea.
We as American’s tend to be un-curious. We are curious as
children and it is like as we grow up we lose that curiosity. Maybe it is
because we really are isolated form a lot of the world and it is hard to get
abroad so we do not see as many cultural differences? Maybe we think that
America is so diverse already that we have enough knowledge of variance
already? Maybe we just feel so driven to achieve in school, sports, and music
that we lose the wander lust of exploring other things? Whatever it is, we tend
to prefer gossip to actual facts. We don’t push the limits nearly as much as
Bulgarians do. A Bulgarian will ask you right off the bat- Are you married? Are
you mentally stable? Did I break you? How old are you? What is your favorite
wine? Why are you like this, or why did you do that…etc. They just are curious
and don’t hold back. That is really refreshing over here. Whereas in America we
have grown up pretending not to see when someone is upset, or ask if someone is
married because that is odd at the first meeting etc.
So what happened to that curiosity? Does it just disappear?
Or is it converted to the curisosity we now have for gossip about movie stars
and creepy serial killers? Or does not everyone lose that curiosity, and if so
is that why I am always so curious?
I went to college because of the movie “Yentyl” starring
Barbara Streisand and in it she is a woman masquerading as a man in turn of the
century 1900’s in Europe so she can attend a Yashiva and learn. All she does is
ask questions, and each answer causes 10 more questions. I relate to that so
strongly, and that is one of the reasons I applied for Fulbright. I didn’t want
to be un-curious. I wanted to be as curious as possible, and find 10 answers
for each question, and then 50 questions for each answer, and not stop
answering and questioning until I die.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what makes a
Fulbrighter. That may sound ridiculous but everyone knows what makes an honors
student, lets say, honors students study hard, read more, and are considered to
just be very dedicated to learning. But what makes a Fulbrighter? What makes a crazy person who is
willing to take all of beginner and start intermediate Bulgarian language in 2
weeks, while taking culture classes, English Teaching training, Toefl training,
and getting to know each other? Because let’s be honest this is what we signed
up for when we took this “gig”: (This is specifically Bulgarian Fulbright’s
FYI)
v
We move to a country we usually don’t know the
language of
v
We take 2 weeks of intense classes to prepare
our students including-culture, language, ethnic conflict, English
Teaching, Toefl, etc.
v
We then go on our way to different towns and
cities hoping to see each other often
v
We then begin to teach various levels of
language courses with no past experience, run after school groups, debate
teams, prepare students for standardized tests, and give life advice to them on
college when often we have just graduated.
v
We bring out passion and desire to learn and
thrive, to an environment that we hope will be open but may not be
v
And we have to navigate constant ethnic conflict
amongst nations that often times are not even recognized on the map-when we are
still navigating the after affects of the Civil War.
So what is it that unites us? Well I have been questioning
that with my curiosity since I got here and here are some preliminary answers
(I will do a follow up post after I have finished my fellowship here and have
spent more time developing)
v
We are all passionate- the topics may vary but
we are set on doing something right and not stopping until we make a difference
somehow
v
We are creative-between painting to photos,
sociology to science we bring our fields into anything we do
v
Honestly, we are all just brilliant in some
form. Everyone told me that doing what I did in undergrad was impossible, but
for me it was like drinking water and I have longed to find other people who
understand that. What it means to just take 3 majors, 4 minors, run dozens of
clubs, aid committees, work, volunteer etc all at once and not stop. And I have
found those people here. It turns out is isn’t due to craziness that I did what
I did- it’s due to a mixture of brilliance, passion, and drive. Here there are
people who just learn a language for fun and barely need to try, while others
master literature like it is reciting a single stanza of a poem.
v
We all have something that hurts in some way.
While definitely our lives vary considerably, at least the majority of us all
have something we don’t want to remember, or that helped shape us into the
driven activists we are. We know that if the world throws something at us we
won’t run, because we didn’t run last time.
v
And most important we just love. We love each
other, we are friends, we bond, and we reach out to each other. That openness
is so refreshing and it helps when you are moving to a new country.
Everytime I have thought on this I think of “Lilo and
Stitch” when Stitch talks about his new family:
“This is my family. I found it, all on my own. Is little,
and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.”
I am excited to see what makes a Fulbrighter in the end. As
Strevka says “There are only 2 highways in Bulgaria so you’ll make it.” We will
all make it, but where those highways truly take us is the unknown I am curious
about.
Tonight's song is "This is one of those moments." I think a lot of people relate to it, it is about that moment that you will never forget, you remember every taste, sound, and sight it is so important to you. You have found bliss, and that song conveys that amazing moment and desire.
Anna
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